Acceptance
by Angst Is My Middle Name
Summary: "Johnny's chair made a loud crack as it hit the floor, making everyone jump. Johnny was on his feet, his hands clenched into fists, the muscles of his arms tense and corded. He was out the door and into the garage in a flash." My first fic for Emergency


_**Hoo boy, so this is my first foray into the Emergency fandom here. I'm pretty new to it, but I think it's an awesome show. The characters are great, all funny but with seriousness and determination to do their job right.**_

_**While our boys are always happy-go-lucky on the show, the 70s weren't always so great even in LA, so it's my headcanon that Johnny used to get some flak for being half-Indian. (It's also my headcanon that Johnny, like Randy Mantooth, if half-Seminole, though I have it in my head that Johnny is Oklahoma Seminole. I'm not sure of Randy's exact tribal affiliation.) I'm his life wasn't always the proverbial walk in the park, so I was inspired to write this after thinking about the whole Washington Redskins controversy going on right now.**_

_**Edit: In light of new evidence, have changed some words, but nothing has really changed storywise. Also, reviewers on anon are so nice and lovely but whyyyyyy are you on anon I want to thank you for reviewing and being so nice!**_

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Roy looked over at Johnny as he walked in. Johnny was slouched in his chair at the table, not looking at anything or anyone but his lap.

"What's the matter, John? Date didn't go for the ol' John Gage charm?"

Johnny didn't so much as flinch. It was as if Roy wasn't even there, which was worrisome. He never outright ignored Roy (though he sometimes pretended to out of spite). He was always sharp, always on point. Roy looked closer. The younger man's face was drawn and pensive but tinged with red, like whatever he was thinking so hard about was making him mad. How long had poor Johnny been stewing like this? Roy sat beside his partner and rested a hand on his shoulder. Johnny nearly jumped out of his skin, his eyes going wide.

"Whoa there, Junior, calm down," Roy told him, "You alright? You looked pretty upset there…"

"I'm-I'm fine," he stammered, "Just, uh, just thinking about… about stuff…"

"I'm gonna guess your date didn't go so well, then."

"I don't wanna talk about it," Johnny mumbled.

"Come on, was it really that bad?" Roy joked, "What, did she break it of-"

"I said I don't wanna talk about it!" he snapped, jerking away from Roy.

Clearly, Roy had touched a nerve. He quickly tried to placate John, saying, "I'm sorry. I won't push it again. Just… well, if you wanna talk about it, I'll listen."

Johnny's jaw unclenched slightly, but he still looked angry. Pretty awful for this girl to do that to Johnny right before Christmas. Roy decided letting Johnny stew for a bit would be best. He clapped his partner on the shoulder and rose to get a cup of coffee. Laughter rang out in the bay, signaling the arrival of Chet and Marco. Chet, as usual, was chattering away loudly, and Roy swore he could feel Johnny tense up from across the room.

"Boy, that game was somethin' else," Chet was saying, "See, Harris threw for a touchdown on the opening drive, but then Washington went for ten unanswered points before halftime, so it was lookin' pretty close for the Rams. Then, in the second half, Ray made a couple of great field goals to get the lead back. Oh, but the fourth was killer. Robertson ran back an interception for a 59-yard touchdown! I tell ya, man, the game was incredible. Rams absolutely clobbered the Redskins and-"

Johnny's chair made a loud crack as it hit the floor, making everyone jump. Johnny was on his feet, his hands clenched into fists, the muscles of his arms tense and corded. He was out the door and into the bay in a flash. Chet was bewildered, Marco confused, Stoker just barely fazed. Roy was concerned. He set down his coffee and followed his partner into the bay. Johnny was sitting by the rear bay door, curled up small and shaking slightly, knees pulled up to his chest and arms wrapped around his knees. He looked a like a dejected little kid.

Roy approached him slowly and sat next to him, mirroring his position.

"Sorry for tearin' out like that," Johnny mumbled.

"You don't have to be sorry for it. I just wanna know what's got you so upset."

Johnny sniffed loudly, drawing his arm across his face. His brown eyes were wet and red. What could have possibly made him so upset? Roy leaned in closer to Johnny, so they weren't quite touching shoulders.

"Talk to me, Junior," Roy whispered, "I wanna help you, but I can't help if you won't talk to me."

Johnny stalled a moment, swallowing and wetting his lips and staring at his knees. Finally, he told him, "Well, uh… Francine decided she was gonna break it, uh, break it off because of… umm… because… well, because she didn't wanna date someone… someone like me."

"What? She knew you're a fireman."

"It's not that. She likes firemen."

"What, is it paramedics she doesn't like?" Roy asked, perplexed.

"No, what she doesn't like, apparently," Johnny ground out, "is Indians."

Anger flared up fiercely in Roy's chest. How dare she? How dare this woman tell Johnny he wasn't good enough because of who he was? Sure, Chet liked to give him a hard time about it, but Chet was still there for him at the end of the day, ready to run into hell to help him if necessary. This… this was downright cold-blooded and cruel. Roy was pretty sure it was the first time he'd ever wanted to hit a woman.

"I just… I dunno… I wasn't expecting it from her," Johnny continued in a small voice, "She seemed really nice. It happened to me once or twice when I was younger and we left the rez… but I… I thought people were over it by now, thought maybe because I'm only half-Indian it wasn't as big a deal. Guess it was to Francine…"

He sniffed again, and Roy watched him wipe his eyes. Roy draped his arm over Johnny's shoulders and pulled him flush against his side. Johnny leaned right into him.

"Look, Johnny, if Francine can't look past that part of you and just see how great a person you are, then who needs her?"

"But… but what if it happens again?" Johnny asked, his voice soft and low.

"Maybe it will," Roy told him gently, "Some people can't over their stupid prejudices, and it makes them act like jackasses. You can't let people like that get to you because-"

"Don't," Johnny blurted.

He looked over at Roy, and his expression was angry again. He continued, "Don't tell me how to feel about this when you have no idea how it feels, how it feels for people to-to look down on you just because of who you are," his voice even but sharp-edged, "I've had to deal with this my whole life. Livin' on the rez I was too white. Off the rez, I'm not white enough. I-I thought by becoming a fireman and a paramedic maybe people would respect me just for that. If people respected me for my job, they might forget their stupid prejudices and accept me without thinking about my race. Clearly, that hasn't happened and dammit, it makes me mad, Roy, so don't tell me I can't let it get to me."

"Then let it get to you," Roy spoke up, "but don't let it control you. Now, you're right, of course. I don't know how it feels, so I need you to help me understand, Johnny. You're my partner and my friend, and all I wanna do is help."

"I know that," Johnny murmured, sighing and leaning back into Roy's side.

"Then let me help."

"You've been helping, Roy."

Roy opened his mouth to reply but thought better of it, just tightening his arm around Johnny's shoulders. They sat like for another few moments before the tones went off with a call, squad and engine, big fire at an apartment building. Roy and Johnny shot to their feet, rushing to the squad. Roy watched Johnny strap on his helmet and grab the map, ready to go to work. He did think he saw his partner give him a little smile there as they started to pull out of the station, and he knew Johnny was feeling better, at least for now. No more words were needed. It was business as usual.

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_**The football (US) game described here is a real playoff game that took place on 22 December 1974 between the Los Angeles Rams and the Washington Redskins, both in the NFC. The Rams won 19-10. All the stats I used here are from Wikipedia (1974-75 NFL Playoffs). **_

_**Reviews are especially helpful when getting into a new fandom like this.**_


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